just maybe....

So I am sitting here on my day off refusing to go out in the heat (98 degrees), watching my new HBO vampire series. Trublood is the name of the show, the book is based on a Sookie Stackhouse book series. Its pretty graphic the series and doesnt follow the book in many instances, but its very good.

Havent done much today, dont feel like it. Wished I had an extra day off tomorrow but I go back to the grind and even the thought of it drains me.
Havent finished cleaning my house,
Havent finished doing my paper
Havent done anything today worth crap
and dont feel like it
Hubby just walked in , shirtless and hot looking. From the shirtlessness I get its f*ing hot outside. The hot looking part makes me think...if it wasnt so hot I would make an attempt to entice him back into bed. Its too hot to entice.

He is back out the door, off to the gym ..crazy ass man working out in this heat. Not me .....I think I will sit here in the shade.

Maybe I will hit the town later....just maybe.

Sitting here...

With 20 minutes to go before I have to get ready for work, I am sitting here trying to knock things off my to do list.
Have you ever hid something so well that you hid it from yourself? You dont know whether to say "Good Job idiot now you cant find it!" or "wow I am really good at hidding things".
Anyway I think looking at the calender and staring at the words "Vacation" which is coming closer and closer has made me lazier and lazier. I have no energy or enthusiasm to start my day....its ridiculous...however soon as I know I have a day off I get up like I have a job interview @ 6am...bright and early ..up and attem I am ready for the day.
Played a little racket ball the other day and I realised...damn I suck...well I dont feel too bad cause Hubby isnt the greatest player as well. So it was comforting to know I wasnt the only embarrassment in the family.

I am hoping its a slow night at work...I am truly not in the mood..I have become just like one of my collegues who was awaiting her vacation time to Hawaii...she had a "I dont give a rats ass" look on her face for 4 whole days before her vacation kicked in...her report was vague and contained only the basics. But I understood her feelings. I understood that in her mind's eye she could see the sun, and sea and smell the salt water and feel the sun rays on her body, and then she would open her eyes and she would hear someone call for "Nurse of room 13", like she didnt have a name and feel the chill from the central air, which is always on 50 frigging degrees cause everyone and their mother is having hot flashes and can see the chaos of people running back and forth trying to get sh*t done before the end of their 13 hour grueling sh*t fest of a shift.
I understood her feeling...and I think I am there now.
I am where she is and I am trying to hold on to the image of sun, sea and sand.
I am trying...

Been a while

Yes its been a long time since I signed on to the blogger website. Its not that I dont have a lot to tell...oh I do..just been telling it in person to everyone else.

Lets see....
Still in school (online) ...still annoys me to write a paper every month. However I am thinking about retirement...yes I know you must be thinking..what the hell, she's not even 30. But I tell you some of these patients are going to pop my back out....I know it, hubby knows it, and I can sense it coming..so I refuse to be that 65 year old nurse at the bedside trying to lift up that 88 yr old 214lbs woman who decides to drop all her weight on me while attempting to get her into bed (yes it happened to me last week and I swear it still hurts when I breathe)
So, No! that wont be me...so my back up plan is to teach....find a nice cushy job at a university so I can sit on nice buttery soft leather chairs and tell new nurses how not to make the mistakes I made. Thats my back up plan.
I also started researching IRA's and other retirement funds. This is serious!

Hubby is going to be stationed in Germany for a year. Yes I know...I have finished doing my "boo woo woe is me crying session", I will shed no more tears about the situation and will suck it up and make the best of the time we have. I have passed the "angry and sad" stage and now I am in the "acceptance" part of the grieving stages. I have made some steps to help alleviate the craziness and loneliness that I am bound to feel during that time. I have joined a gym. Yes...I finally broke down and joined a gym. Not to "work out"...its more to play sports (racket ball), swim in the pool and socialize. I may also take more road trips out of town to visit friends.
One of my good friend's , "M", is moving to Georgia, less than 2 hours away. So I wont be too lonely.

I may also visit Trinidad some time next year as well..but thats still in the planning stage.

My brother is still in Japan and apparently he is playing phone tag with my voicemail. We just cant seem to sync up. Lots to update him on. I had to curse him out via email though on sicing my mother on me about not answering my phone. There is a rule we live by in my household, "whatever you do, dont tell mom cause she is going blow it way out of proportion and take it to a whole new level of BS". Its nothing against my mother, its just her nature. And my brother and I know this, and we compensate for it. He broke the rule, so I tore him a new A-hole via email. But we are over it now.

Hubby's mom is doing much better after her surgery (got her knees done), she seems more open. hmm

I go to NY next month, to see my girls and the family. Only 5 days but I am sure its going to be eventful. Mom's been keeping me abreast of the family's goings and comings...but it will be great to see everyone. Too bad my brother couldnt be there.

Next week I begin my vacation time, Hubby and I will be going out of town...somewhere not to far but not to close either. I think it would eb great to get away for a while.

Anyway thats all I have to report for now...so there you go Shy, this is your "update".

Been such a long time

Yes I know I have graced the webpages with my presence. Just busy.
But I am so excited about something I had to share. So as you know I am going to school for my Masters in nursing education (online). Still sometimes I wonder why I am doing this to myself, but I forge on anyway.
At work they gave me a precept....a student...finally! Finally someone made the mistake, looked at all their choices and said..."Damn I guess the only choice is Mell". LOL. Just kidding
But it was great, I couldnt hide my glee. So my student is a 19yr girl from California in her 2nd yr of Nursing school. Unfortunately and fortunately I guess, the night took off running, we barely had chance to eat or pee. I kind of felt sorry for the kid. Ofcourse like most people its hard getting used to being up all night, so by 3 am the kid was yawning.
lol so to wake her up I had her do her first foley placement on a older gentleman who as he said "I dont care, just do it I need to pee!". So because of his willingness I threw her into the fray of things. Thats when she got excited. And then I remembered nursing school. I remembered what bored me to death and what got my heart pumping. Sometimes when you are working day in and out you forget the skills that took you years to perfect, and now just look at them as chores. So now I decided to make her night shift clinical experience a heart pumping one. I even prepared a scheduled and checklist of skills to complete. I havent been this excited about nursing in months. It feels so good.

OH and in school I finished my first 2 classes, got a A and a B respectively. Hopefully I can be more organized than last time. I felt like I was just doing a half -assed job. So I have now been motivated to do better and be a little more ahead of my assignments.

On the home front everything else is great Hubby just finished his last exam and infact his graduation is next week. But ofcourse being anticlimatic as he is he didnt want to go to his graduation. I know he will be starting a new college in a month and still continuing his education, and for him its not a celebration cause he is not finished. But for me it is. Its one step closer to his goal, and we should always celebrate every milestone.
Hopefully we do go to the graduation , and I have the day off just in case. *winks*
I wanted to take pictures of him in his gown.
Anyway time for me to prepare for the rest of the week.

to my girl Mich

What the hell are u doing here...if I could run and hug you through the screen I would.
If you have my email addy email me and the number hasnt changed. So get back at me soon as possible. Hope all is well with Michael and the boys. Talk to u later

trapped inside

So I just spent 20 minutes struggling to get my new bike out of the apartment. After manuveuring through narrow hall ways, and trecherous staircases and I finally set the damn thing on the ground and I look up expectedly....and then my heart sinks. Snow flurries! I mean winter has passed and nothing...Saturday was 78 degrees and now!!!! when I am excited to go for a ride around the neighborhood....take in some nice fresh clean air...now! you want to bring snow. *sighs* Obviously It was a sign for me to take my butt upstairs and reorganize my calender and things to do list. Which I have been putting off.
My first online course is coming to a close...thank goodness..I cant wait. I know I have 3 more weeks left and 2 more big assignments to complete but mentally I am so over this class. I worked my butt off on my last paper and if I dont get the grade I want I am going to go off.
Hubby's mom has surgery scheduled for later this week....knee replacements...I hope its successful because I know it pains her to walk. Most of my patient's who have had these surgeries say even though they feel pain from the surgery its much better than the pain they felt when walking. She's in my prayers.
His sis and nieces are in town as well. Those little girls are hilarious...especially J....she is a talker, and A. is growing into a beautiful young lady....and N. is such a cutey. Being around them made me wish to have my nieces closer. Ah well. I was teaching them sign language , they pick up fast and ofcourse J. couldnt wait to use the sign "NO" to her uncle.
Our vacation time is looming closer but ofcourse Mr. Hubby will procastinate till the last minute. Its our first cruise and I know he is thinking...for goodness sake its in June and we have plenty of time. But we still havent booked hotel reservation, or figured out if we are driving there and in what, our car or a rental, clothes ...although he says he has...its a cruise....u never have the "right cruise attire", plus his idea of cruise attire is shorts he just cut from long pants he doesnt want to wear anymore....that is my idea of "yard work" attire. But we have had that discussion to death...so I decided to "do Me". In other words I am not waiting for his "procasintating-I will pack the night before-and miss my flight more than once- behind" ...no...I will get us ready. He can wear it..or not...dont care. And knowing him , he will fight me all the way. So predictable. *rolls eyes*
And with all the travelling thats coming up the conference in NC, his AT training , my NY trip all inbetween this time and July...we have no time to dilly dally...but u cant tell him that.
Anyway but I am excited about all the travelling though. I love to pack, and the excitement of travelling. Even when its not me going...I love just getting someone ready for a trip, it reminds me of when my parents use to travel alot from the US to the Caribbean. Just making the neccessary arrangements, packing and repacking and packing again..it was all exciting to me. Weird huh. But I loved it anyway.
Hubby threw me a curve ball the other day...talking about going to Germany. I swear sometimes I think he does this just to fuck with my sanity. But I dont feel like talking about that right now. Thats for another time.
Anyway I am off..lots to finish up

been a while

Guess between school and work its been hectic.Hubby is right next to me pretending to go to sleep , I know he is just waiting for me to get off the computer.lol
Anyway I finally bought my bicycle...a cruiser but with gear shift and brakes...which is apparently hard to find in cruisers. We went bike riding at a local park the other morning, it has been a long long time since I rode a bike. My knees and thighs were not happy with me, but it felt great.
My mother is moving to another neighborhood again...I think she should wait cause this is a more expensive place and although its closer to her family I dont think she should break her lease. owever she says she would be more comfortable there...and I guess at her age its understandable.
Tomorrow I have another class assignment...kind of getting sick and tired of weekly assignments that are consistent with online classes. I know the trade off is fleibility but man I miss my freedom. Anyway got to go...he is staring at me..lol.