I always wondered about couples who have been married for a long time, I mean 20 and 30 years plus, I am sure they had their ups and downs. And in those up and downs someone at some point had to have been unfaithful. Its human nature I think. So I wonder how do they move on after the down, the betrayal, the lies and distrust? Do they ever really go back to the way they were..do they move on and love harder and longer than before? Can the Hurt party ever get past it, or even the Offending party , can they ever regain their spouse's trust?
I wonder because....I hope they do...I want them to...cause it gives me hope. And I need hope. There has been a crack in my foundation, relationship foundation and I have been ignoring it. Saying to myself..."it happened but you want this to work, so get over your anger and try". And I have been doing so. But I realized I also have not been dealing with it. We don't say her name, speak about the incident , we act like it never existed, never happened. But it did. And I am hurt. The other day I mentioned her, I mentioned that I kept her letter to me (the Bitch). And he suggested I let the letter go, I destroy it, delete it, or like the things I keep that bring me joy, those same things that I keep that bring me sorrow will stay and hurt me as long as I keep it.
I havent decided to get rid of it yet, cause frankly I am not ready. Its a reminder. But like I decided a while ago, I will try, try to make it work , try not to be angry and try to move on. Cause I have hope, hope that it will work, that we would love harder and longer. Mainly because when I close my eyes I still see him, see us together 20 ,30 yrs from now. I see our future, am I deluded? Probably but I can live with it.
So if any one out there who have been married or been with a person for a long time have any thoughts you are welcomed to share.Or any nosey people who just want to share their beliefs.
2 comments:
Wow! Been there... am there and really don't know what answer to give you. :-( I caught my husband 27 years ago with another woman. It was a thorn in my side for a long time; and can still remember it well. lol I feel like that is one of the hardest things to forgive.. and really forget for a woman. I feel like a lot of men do it; they just do not get caught... or the woman would rather not know. The only way that I got through it was going to church and letting the Lord help me. I don't think we would have made it other wise. I was 36 years old and not my first marriage. That is something that makes a lot of differene and also children. No I have not really trusted my husband again. I would burn that letter!! That is like power over you. Tear it up and forget her! Tell yourself you are better than her. Will look at your other entries. Blessings, Janie
I will tell my husband to hit the road IF he EVER cheated on me
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