Red shoe Diaries

When I was younger..I used to watch Red Shoes Diaries. It was soft core porn for women..which is exactly what soft core porn is. ANyway today I was browsing through Hulu.com and came across the movie...the actually beginning with David Duchovny's character's story. I never knew the beginning.. to me..this was only a show that entertained and got my sexual frustrations out..atleast mentally.
Anyway the actual movie is sadder...Its about Jake (David's character) and his fiance, Alex..and her death...and after her death he found her diary...and in it...she wrote about her affair with another man named Tom....a man she described as "So different from Jake, there could be no competition....no complication". And even though I think..damn she was wrong (hell she is dead, cant kick her when she is down), I also thought..Shit that must hurt Jake like hell to read that. I mean really..if I had to read something like that..I would have wanted to kill the heifer myself..unfortunately she beat him to it and killled herself.
Well there were points in the movie I understood...as a woman...to want more. ...to feel neglected and be tempted to seek attention elsewhere. I could empathize with Alex. There was a scene where she shows up @ Tom's dressed in black leather and ready to rock his world...and in it she says ..she was high of a power aphrodiasic ...CONTROL! Control is such a sexy thing...to be the one to dictate what happens next, the other person's actions, and more importantly reactions.
In another scene she tells Tom he doesnt know her and she doesnt now him, his response is "I know everything I need to know about you...You are beautiful , you wear $200 shoes and you are with someone who doesnt make you happy"..and her reply..the most powerful sentence..."Thats the thing..he makes me too happy".

Red Shoe Diaries....the movie...is a must see.

becoming one of them....

Its official ...I am one of them. The kind of people I swore I would never be. The kind that talks to their dog and sleeps with them, even spends hours playing with them and actually thinking there is nothing else I rather do. I coo...yes I said coo at other peoples dogs and cats. Pet pitbulls like I had no fear and enjoy being slubbered on by baskethounds the size of horses. What have I become.
Two years ago Hubby and I were having a discussion about dogs. My response...they are for the outside...they are not even to enter my bedroom..however today as I am awakened by something licking my hair....I realise the change that has occured.
Yesterday Knox had his last vet visit...thank goodness....cause he is breaking my bank. Between that , my trip to Memphis , unexpected expenses of buying new tires and crap that life is full of... I barely had enough to play with.
However I did learned how small the world can be. So at the doggy park yesterday we met a girl and her dog, a pit named Capone...yes like Al Capone...he is the friendliest thing ever and ofcourse Knox who adores bigger dogs ran off with his new friend. So happens this girl lives in the same apartment complex as me...great coincedence...then to top it off another lady with her Lab and Boxer mix joins in the convo and aparently she, who doesnt not live at the apartment complex but is friends with the one of the managers, heard about how cute Knox was and but wasnt too sure if I was the person her manager friend was talking about. But throughout the conversation she realizes who we were and was very excited to meet us. So now Knox and I have two other friends to add to the list.
My trip to Memphis was okay..uneventful, I wasnt too impressed with the city itself but I loved my hotel room. The last time I stayed in a hotel it was me and Hubby so it was kind of lonely having to be there alone. I wasnt even inspired to go out to a bar or anything...sure I did a little shopping, drove around and admired the houses but other than that I stayed in enjoying the few days I would have HBO at my disposal.
School is to begin on Tuesday...I still have the books they sent me in the box. I opened to box , but havent taken out the books. I guess I am prolonging the inevitable as long as I can. Just the thought of it has me sighing heavily.
Anyway I am going continue cooking..its 1030 and I am making lunch like I am Susan Home maker...I think its cause I havent cooked in days (okay..weeks) that I am feeling guilty.
Maybe I may go out before I have to work...hmm maybe

Soical life is looking up

Since I have found Knox I have spoken to more people in my neighborhood in the past two weeks than I have the entire year I have been here.

I even went outside of work with a co-worker to the doggy park and plan to go with another next week. Its crazy, who knew dogs were such people magnets. Maybe I will actually make friends that I feel comfortable inviting to the house or something..Just maybe. Thats a big step for me..it takes alot for me to let someone into my space.

Anyway just wanted to throw that note out there.
Bye again

Making Strides

So remember when I said this year I will be making steps to advance my career...outside of going to school ofcourse. Well today I did it...step one.. participated on a committee..(which truthfully consisted of me and another person) to devise a checksheet that all of the nurses on the floor can use...the goal : to minimize missed orders and errors and get the Docs off our backs.
The reason I even signed up for the darn thing was because I was tired of hearing "this wasnt done, what are u nurses thinking"..however the blame shouldnt all be placed on us, we carry out orders, and if the Attending and the Residents are not communicating and are contradicting the other..what are we to do. Anyway the point was I got tired of it, and I jumped at the chance to help devise this thing from an orthopedic nurse standpoint. Surprisingly it went well today and we have an actually product we want to shop around to the other nurses and get their opinion. I am very proud of myself.
I also signed up for a couple of nursing journals.Maybe reading about the strides others are making in other parts of the world would inspire me to do more...maybe...just maybe.

Today Knox and I visited a Boarding House. I was checking out the place inanticipation of him staying there while I was in Memphis. So far it doesnt look too bad...I plan on doing a little more digging and hearing from customers before I decided. I also took him to his first doggy park. I have to admit..I was a bit weary. The kid is 2.4lbs. An ittybitty ball of energy, who can get stepped on if you dont tread carefully. Well he loved it. He is definately dog and people friendly.

Our trip to ATL was great also. Surprisingly he was very quiet and manageable. And his potty training is going well. But I am still going sign up for the Puppy Training classes from Pet Smart.

Hubby called a couple of times..and both times after I hung up the phone I was literally skipping down the street. I miss him alot and it feels so good to hear his voice. I was looking up tickets to Germany....I would love to go..but I know I will have to work some serious overtime to afford the vacation I want. But I will do it. I have a plan, particpate in all the workshops, continuing education classes and precept my ass off at work on top of my regular schedule. I know it will be a wear on me working fulltime, school full time and Knox but I think I can do it.

I do have a revelation though...Having Knox have kept me from being lonely. I am so tired and busy caring and playing with him that the day passes fast and I am too beat to lay awake at night thinking of how much I miss hubby. Atleast not too long though.
Anyway I am off to finish clean this place up.

Knox is costing me an arm and a leg.

For a little fella he is expensive...
$250 apt deposit
$200 DOG ACCESSORIES , GATE, PENS, FOOD ETC
$200 DOG
________
$650- THE COST OF COMPANIONSHIP

Maybe I should have adopted a kid....whoa...anyway he is worth it. Today I go back to work, and leave him home for a while...I am hoping he does well. He is slowly doing well with the potty training, and is sociable beyond belief...ofcourse since he looks like a kitten , and has a face that can made the Grinch smile everyone falls for him and he relishes in their attention.

Had Hubby's nieces spend the night, they wanted to baby sit him...between them and the dog we didnt go to bed till 3am, and still with whines of "Can we watch one more show..pleassseeeee".

I work tonight, and I am back to the grind. And as we speak Knox has discovered the art of licking his balls...just like a man. smh.

I have come up with a plan for the year, so I wont feel like I wasted the yr

1. travel...upcoming trips include, ATL, Memphis, Trinidad, Japan, Germany
2. career advancement- go to more nursing seminars, join a nursing organization
3. continue racketball and bikeriding
4. museums
5. socialize more
6. enjoy the year

Yep...seems simple and retarted but I had to write it down.
My mother was thinking of flying down, but as usually she is a last minute person and ofcourse today is Monday she wants to come on Wednesday....that would be all fine and dandy its just when u buy last minute tickets they cost u $700, as they are qouting her now. She quickly scrapped that idea....I really wish people would plan more effectively.Anyway I am about to get started on this day. Get rid of all the paper work I have been neglecting the past few days.

Bye for now

Knox and Germany

Wow its been a awhile since I even attempted to blog about my day, but its 730 am and the new addition to my household has woken me up. I bought a dog. His name is Knox and he is a black and white Papillon who is currently obscuring my typing.

Hubby left for Germany yesterday morning, and I got Knox 10 hours later. Its strange, I thought it was an impulse buy , but I havent regretted him yet and so far he has made me uber proud by pottying in the designated area. He answers to his name and is slowly getting himself comfortable in his new surroundings.

As for Hubby leaving....I am too sad to talk about it...period. I know its only one yr but i know its going to be a long one. I really wished we had more time. They messed up his travel plans and he had to fly in a day earlier than thought...I was so mad I couldnt even speak. They cut me short of a day.

I am getting depressed thinking about it, i think Knox and I are going back to bed before I head off to church. He looks sleepy..and I feel...well...yeah I just feel.

slowly coming to an end

Vacation time is wrapping up.
Yesterday my class restarted again, I tried to keep it out of my mind so much I almost forgot to "attend" class all together.
Today my goal is to relax and prolong my vacation for as long as I could.
On my way to the movie theater now, my plan to see two movies....while eating my favorite foods. Yesterday we saw The Proposal, the Sandra Bullock movie.
I love Sandra, she is one of the few actresses that I genuinely have respect for as a person. The way she conducts herself on and off screen is admirable.
Today I am going to the old movie theater that shows movies that are already in DVD for $1.
May hit the gym today.
Hubby is busy packing and getting things in order for Germany.
Anyway I better go if I want to catch my show.