Quick Entry Drive By

So I finally am catching up with all those things I have been neglecting
I had a stack of mail on my desk I have been ignoring for weeks....90% completed...very proud of my efforts
Phone calls that needed returning...done
Paper work that needed filing....done
And now its time to get back to work. That I am not too enthusiastic about..but I will cope.
Ever felt like you just want to keep the world abay....not pay bills, not return phone calls, ignore your to-do list, not cook, clean or all that domestic crap you know eventually will catch up with you. Well thats what I did this past 2 weeks. And it felt great....sure catching up with my work now is a Bitch...but truthfully it was worth it.
Off to work and hooefully will have a good day....*keep your fingers crossed for me*

Finally Getting my Social Mojo Back

So Ladies and Gents, I finally went out..a night on the town. So I get a text @ 2:40 in the AM, or for those who work night shift...just after lunch, lol, and it says "We are meeting downtown Chillis @ 830 Friday. Be There". Now I looked @ the message and thought...I dont know this number and then it hit me...thats one of my bossy co-workers "D", who according to her I am in the "dog house" for missing last time's "Girl's Night Out". So I decided to go, make the best of it. Surprisingly I had alot of fun.Not really my type of music but I enjoyed it (we afterwards went to see her sons' Band @ a local Music spot).
My G/F from NY left yesterday morning as well...it was a short visit, but we had a ball. Ofcourse like everytime we meet up she tries to get me to go to a club... but she knows me and I know her..its not going to happen. Now I dont mind clubs but I am not a big fan. My idea of a fun night is me curled up on a warm couch, reading a cheezy Jayne Krentz Novel and eating cheetos. Thats fun to me. Anyway we both ended up sitting back relaxing and talking and finally fell asleep.
Hubby and I finally decided we are going on vacation , sometime in June or July...and its a cruise. I got prices down..and it doesnt look too bad. And I am putting my foot down..we are going. I need a break and He definately needs a break. He is working so hard with school, work and drill that I know its tough for him to relax, although he needs to alot. I think he needs a "Guy night out". No estrogen around him...no one asking him to do anything...he needs to have someone buy him drinks, stuff him with good food and talk about what men talk about ( sex, cars, and useless crap my Estrogen clad brain cant comprehend) and be offensive and sexist as he wants to be.
Unfortunately cause of my lack of penis..I cant do that for him..but he truly needs a break. He seems tired..and wound up tight. But I do think this vacation is what we both need as well.

I also found this great furniture liquidation place that has now become my "spot". So last week hubby and I stopped by, mainly cause my noisy and bargain hunting ass wants an Armoire....a Jewerly Armoire to be exact.
Ofcourse when I first told him I wanted one ...his reply was a raised eye brow and an ironic "I never thought I would be a co-owner to an Armoire"..to which I cheekly replied "I never thought I would be a co-owner to a canoe..but here we are". He smiled , which I translated as "Touche' ". LOL.
Anyway so in this store..or as I now lovingly call it "the spot!"..I found chair and ottoman to complete the living room all for only 45 dollars. I nearly tripped over myself getting it to the door. Lila's Liquidation apparently gets rid of the stuff other stores and business try to move...this batch was from a Hotel that closed. But yesterday in the midst of my errand running I ran into the granddaddy of all granddaddy purchases...I found my Armoire..and all for $120. Everywhere else I went to the starting price ($150-350). I almost had a throw down with another woman @ the store for it....she was drooling but I had the ticket in my hand...I watched her greedy little hands stroking my Armoire and promptly and proudly placed the "SOLD" sign on it. Then watched her face fall..I felt her pain but my joy was too apparent for me to hide my smile. Oh it was a good day.
But today however I go back to the work grind...tsk tsk. So much to do, uniforms to iron, food to cook, rooms to clean and bills to pay. I hope when i go to work I can find that "Happy place in my Mind" , I found last week. Last week I began dreaming of our cruise and subsequently went on a "mini mental vacation" in which nothing and no one could have gotten me out of..not even annoying paper work, overwhelmed co-workers, needy patients or over-zealous drivers who love to tailgate. I liked that happy place..I want to go there again.

Biological Clock ticking?...No I just want a dog

So yesterday I tortured myself again and went to the pet store again (for the millionth time) to play with the dogs. The store manager and I are now on first name basis...although he chastes me for "teasing the dogs", and tries to guilt me into buying one of my favorites... I know his job is to sell me anything , even though its not in my best interest. Now dont get me wrong, getting a dog is not whats not in my best interest, its the prices @ that pet store...the Lhasa Apso that I am fiegning for goes for $870. And the prices in the store can go up to $1700. Yes I fainte alittle when I first heard the prices but I got used to it now. Ofourse I can go to a breeder and get a dog cheaper, or adopt one at the pound..those are my options. However the point of this blog is to dispell those rumors (okay only my crazy ass friend Nat suggested this and the other crazy ass agreed) that my want for a dog is actually my biological clock ticking. Ofcourse usually I would ignore the "tick-tock" jokes , but I decided to nip this in the bud. All I want is a dog...a cute furry friend to keep me company when I come home after a long night. I have never had a dog..not even as a kid, infact up to last year my interaction with dogs have been limited to me crossing the street to the other side when I see one coming (yes I was one of those people!). I only recently developed this cannine loving courage. And like one of my girls asked...is it cause of the environment and want for a constant companionship? And the answer is yes its both actually...in Trinidad eventually I would have gotten a dog...I am sure but in NY there was no space, time, or ryhme or reason. It wasnt the environment conducive for dogs in my opinion. I thought about a cat..but I realised ...nah I like playing with the dogs...and they are very calming surprisingly. But dont get confused..I still get intimidated by big dogs but I am slowly overcoming that. Yesterday I went to PetSmart like a pet owner..except I am not one and that just makes me pathetic..but lets not discuss that. Anyway and I ran into a co-worker of mine who has a German Shepard....huge dog..looked mean but was actually incredibly calm and friendly. And she was telling me that this was her first dog ever and knowing she works long hours as me, she gave me tips on how she dealt with it. And I thought...if she can do it..I can. I have the same support as her...why not use it!
So I have put my foot down, no more dilly dallying, I am going to get a dog. Dont know when but it will be before then end of the year, I have to becareful cause I will be travelling a couple of times this yr and I am not keen on leaving any pet home alone for a long period of time, and Doggy Day care has always been suscipious to me..but we will see.
Enough pupy talk...I finally got my new phone. ABout freaking time..its a Samsung Behold ..just getting used to the touch screen feature...my brother is very proud of me for moving into the 21st century ( I know what century it is but I am late bloomer). He is teasing me that maybe I will get a flat screen TV next..my reply "Hold your horses...I am still getting used to the microwave!..lol"
I finally decided what to get Hubby for V-day ...its going be handmade and contains his favorites, cant reveal what it is cause he sometimes reads this. I am hoping to send my mom flowers but I got to get a move on that soon.
I have a meeting @ work today..gosh I hate meetings...sure we are getting fed, but I dont feel like sitting through another lecture on how we can improve bt yet how much we are appreciated...its like the "slap and hug" factor. When you diss someone but then compliment them to try to soften the blow. I always find that confusing..I say stick to one..dont play both roles of Bad Cop & Good Cop. However it will give me a couple of extra hours so I guess I will stick it out , might even plaster a smile on my face.
Anyway I am going to eat and relax until the time to go.

Catch 22's

Grey's Anatomy makes me laugh, cry and wonder...gosh thats me.
Like Yang and her victorian romance with Scruffy Red( the new hot soldier Doctor on the show). Gosh its exactly what "Strong Face" Yang needs to soften her up..someone who doesnt just jump straight for the sex, but tells her she should wear her hair up more cause they like the back of her neck.
Or Derek who cant stand that he has to save a serial killer's life (cause his own father was murdered) but still stands by to support his girlfriend cause she feels compassion for the man.

I know Grey's Anatomy is an idealic show that has no bearings on real life and absolutely doesnt resemble any hospital/work life known to man. But I love it still.
It takes me away to a fantasy place that makes me warm and fuzzy inside...same feelings I get from crappy romance books where the Guy and the Girl always have a happy ending.
Anyway its Friday and I have nothing to do.
Did my hair ..finally I look like a woman but for some reason its 1:40 in the evenning and I am refusing to smell like one...too lazy to take a bath. However I do want to walk among other humans and interact with them..so its a Catch 22. I may hit up Barnes and Nobles or BooksaMillion and sit and use their facilities like a Library.
I should shower...I know I should..but damn its the effort...I just dont feel like it. But I do feel like hanging out. I miss my girls. Particularly Shy. I feel like prattling on and on with another person other than hubby( he has work, exams and its Drill Weekend....so we only see each other in passing) .
There is supposed to be a Girl's Night out @ a local Bar with some of my co-workers...and although I want to come..a part of me doesnt. I am not big on holding relationships outside of work with co-workers...I like the Lines. I dont want to cross the Line between personal and professional. But I know if I go out a little bit of that line would be stepped on. People ask questions...curiousity, nosiness or just plain conversational piece. But I dont know if I want to dance on that line. However I do want to prattle on and on with someone. Another Catch 22.

Anyway I think I am going to shower...*drags body to bathroom* "Let the fun begin!"

Surprisingly Strange

There are always surprisingly strange things I find in my work bag when I decided to clean it out. And I often wonder..."What the hell!"
So I decided to clear out this mess I call a work bag and repack..and there I began to empty....
1. one dirty fork
2. one clean spoon
3. hundreds of cough drops scattered
4. numerous pens but none of them a red ink I have been looking for
5. chapstick that I can never find when I really need it
6. other junk to crappy to name
7. numerous of post-it reminders that I never remember to read.

And like the chaos in my bag...my hair lately seems like a representation of that. Gosh its a tangled mess. I cant take it anymore I quickly made an appointment with my hairdresser. Tomorrow I will look like a woman again...a woman who doest not look like her life is a freaking mess *tugs @ my hair and screams*

body trying to catch up

Sometimes working nights can wreck havoc on your body...or is it working period. I wish I was wealthy, man the appeal of vacations in St. Barts and no obligations to anything makes me drool. I know the saying money doesnt make you happy...but thats good cause I am not unhappy now...just tired as crap. I put my name down last night to be called off if they didnt need another nurse,,well all evenning I kept waiting for that phone call..the one which would give me the go ahead to sink into a deep coma-like sleep for 2 days straight. But I got nothing..and ofcourse ended up being late and to top it all off when I rush into work my name wasnt on the board..HMMM I looked it cursiously..."I was here last night..why wouldnt I be on, why wouldnt I have the same patient's from yesterday...maybe I didnt hear the phone and they left a message" *checks phone...no message ( my hope died). And then comes my answer..."Your on another floor tonight...not my decision". The horror on my face was most readable. But after the initial "I'm what!" that I shouted @ my Assistant Manager...I hid my disappointment with a shrug of the shoulders and a "Why the hell not..tonight couldnt get worst and if it does..its me..I expect it to happen" ( I mumbled the last part though).
So I thrudge my way down two flights to uncharted territory (the really sick folks). I dont know if I told you folks but I am an Orthopaedic/ Neurology Nurse...so broken bones from car wrecks (they dont ask to be here) & brain/spinal tumors and little old women requesting knee & hip replacements are my speciality (they elect for these surgeries). But the uncharted territory holds the chronically ill folks...people who are in and out the hospital so much they know the Weekday Lunch Menu by heart. As one nurse told me once "Our patient's are hurt, these people are sick". So it was great to have a break from monotomy....the nurses there were welcoming enough as well as were the Techs but I spent most of my time talking to my patients. Interesting how they live with their illnesses..and I feel for them..empathize with their want to go home soon as possible. On my floor most of the patient's try to prolong their stay cause they are unsure and afraid of not being well enough to safely care for themselves to leave (which is a legitimate fear). But here these folks have lived with their illnesses for so long that the little fact that they cant breath properly will not stop them from going home and sleeping in their own beds. Resilience...one of the few human traits I admire without resolution.

Anyway even though I left with a headache that had my left eye watering (signs of my tiredness), I was glad I got to experience a different floor. Also confirmed what I knew about myself all along...I adapt to change well...sometimes...too well.

Back on track..much better..no more vomitting

OKay its been a long week...all is well , happy to report.
Although I did have one patient who drove me to temporary insanity last week..but I am all good now (breathe it out)
I am happy to report I found a Church!...Yeah!
Today I sat...listened and I felt so good and then I knew...yeah...Its here I will be.
A friend of mine is going to be visiting from NY this month...my first visitor. Its feels strange. I wonder if I should make any "preparations"..but then I thought...I dont feel like it.
Working tonight...so I have to prepare for that...uniforms and all but again...I dont feel like it...I would so love to curl up inside with a good book.
I did however finished the four books by Stephanie Meyer , the one that begins " Twilight", and made into the movie. And I have to admit..for a "teen book"...this was great. I was hooked.
Anyway I am off to prepare for today and tomorrow...
Thank you Janie for your words of encouragement...much appreciated.