IN AN UPROAR!

So I am sitting here , trying to renew my freaking antivirus protection subscription and I get a blue email from AOL. What the hell is this that these bitches want to close off AOL Journals. Come on...I know I havent been writting everyday as I planned to...but people no need to take away my outlet. I see mass murder/suicides cause of this closing. AOL Journals have saved my from going upside somebodies head..and most definately saved me from saying something devasting to my hubby. It allowed me to analyze, voice, scream, my dirty dirty thoughts without reprecussions and considerations of other people's feelings. Now they want to take it away from me on October 31st. "WHY!!!" ...I scream...."WHY!!!!!" Yes I did dramatically fall to my knees screaming like a bad actor in a B-list movie. But this is not to take away the seriousness of the situation.

Now I am so mad I wanna shop. but I wont..cause its "Rent Week" paycheck and its not allowed. Damn Damn Damn.

Anyway thats enough ranting about this....but I guess I would have to find a new place. And I would hate to do that cause this was so much more convenient. Hell I dont even go to the chat room anymore, when I play online Games its on Yahoo, most of my friends have other email addresses...so I ask...Why am I keeping AOL.  You know why..cause I am a "Loyalist". Its in my blood, I am loyal to anyone or anything that I started with that brings me pleasure.Its sad...I get comfortable and dont care to leave.

Anyway lets update you on whats been happened this week. I finally after months of being lazy sat down and did my hair myself. I sat for two hours and rolled my locs to give it those tight curls that I love..which usually last a week or two. LOL...My laziness thwarted that plan...I couldnt sleep with the curlers in my hair...and instead of leaving it for 10 hours I left it for 5 ..and hence the style lasted 2 hours and then went "blap"...lol and now back to bone straight..boring Mell. I just had to laugh at myself...but atleast my hair looks a bit neater...I should call my hairdresser, but again my laziness over takes me and my dialing finger fails to lift. But again that night I also took the time to do my finger nails...ohh never underestimate a good "Me day". It renews the spirit. 

My mother also suckered me into buying her a dress online...Its the funniest thing...it was like I was back to being her secretary...only my pay is "always in the Mail". She calls me with a Jessica London catalog in her hand..rattling off numbers and dresses she "loves", and there I go pulling out my wallet knowing I wanted to buy a dinning room chair this week. I guess its another week of eating on the stairs. Shameful but true. But I didnt mind buying it so much for her, mainly cause it brought a smile to her face and got her looking forward to something. She's been a bit depressed lately..or for my mother ..more "whinny" than usual. She needs companionship. She may say she likes being alone but my dad needs to get his but back from "vacation"and start acting right. He is another issue all together. And I wont go there tonight.

Hubby and I finally found time to have a "night on the town". Its been over a month since we did that. It felt great just to go outside of the house together with the purpose of spending time together. Our schedules have been clashing lately, I hope by next month I can rectify that. I will finally be off orientation and able to make my own schedule. Looking forward to doing that. Having that control.

ANyway I got to figure out how am I to save my aol Journal. Bullocks!.

Productive

So I have finally bought a dinning room table...lol..chairs not included. Thats next month's purchase. But I got a great deal on a dark wood Parsons dinning table from Kmart. And I am happy to report I also purchased my side tables..all within my budget.

I decided to start working on my Masters Degree...I am trying online classes...its all new to me and ofcourse I was weary as to how online courses would look on my resume. But my brother brought up a good point, I already have one of the top accredited schools in the country on my resume..this will be fine. I was hoping though the classes would have been on a campus...mainly to open up my social life. Which is sadly tanking every week. Maybe I should ask a couple of the girls from my job to go out..but truthfully I dont know. I realised that all if not most of my friendships have been with more "friendlier outspoken" people than myself. Not saying I am not outspoken..its the natually friendly part that I have trouble with. Sure I smile and say hellos and ask the appropiate how are you doing questions..but I dont go beyond that. I dont put myself out there and give out my phone number and say "you wanna go out Saturday"...I just dont. Yet I expect to be accompanied to these events. Hence I was uber excited at the prospect of starting school again. Meeting new people. Ah well.....que sera sera. *shrugs*

Anyway I am off to work...Although I am loving the pace of night shift, its has turned my sleeping habits upside down. I roam Walmart @ 2am and get up @ 3 pm now.

goin too slow

I am still in the decorating phase of the move and I feel like I am going too slow. There is so much I want, but with a limited budget and my refusal to use a credit card I am kept in a box. Unfortunately as I said before I have Paris Hilton tastes. I like alot of expensive, way out of my budget items...and the only way to get what I want , exactly how I want it, is to save...wait and save. The saving isnt killing me , its the waiting...I can live without these things however....my patience is non existent.

I have just had 3 days off , three beautiful days where I could have gone shopping...but its not in the budget...so instead I spent those days , pinning at home...playing "woe is me" in my head to the tune of Aerosmith's "Dream on". But I vow , by the end of next month I will have my dinning room set and a night table. Still unsure if I want a night table though. An actual table or a shelf are my choices. What got me in limbo are the prices..two hundred dollars for a little table that will only hold a lamp and a book...its ridiculous. Hell I am thinking of going to Lowes and building my own table. I know it sounds cheap as hell...and I admit I can be tight with my money on certain things...but I do spend on other things I think worth while. But a bullshit table to hold a lamp and a book doesnt seem worth two hundred dollars. Two hundred dollars is almost a day's work for me.

Usually when I am unsure of buying something I break it down ..measuring its cost by my hourly wage and dividing it by the amount of time it will take me to work off the price. For example..dumb ass night table cost 200....hypothetically if I worked for 20 bucks an hour..I would have to work 10 hours to buy that table. Now I think of all the crap I do within those 10 hours....how much work I put in ....that table doesnt seem worth it.  I know it sounds a bit over the top...but I think the price is over the top....I need to make a friend with a furniture maker. This is ridiculous

Anyway off to do...well nothing..since its "something" is not in the budget..lol @ my sad life