Great news..got my temporary liscense...so now I can officially work in TN...the last phase of my moving plans are complete. Except for packing and actually going there...all is done.
But I also have very troubling news....so since I am moving I am notifying those who are near and dear to me...my final goodbye dinners and get togethers are being planned.I dont want a big farewell party..I want private discussions with my people....simple and nice. Cause hell..I will be back to visit and definately keep in touch. I have lots of friends, ex-classmates and people who I just cant think of leaving without a hug goodbye. So I called one of them today..she was supposed to be in Cali...like me after graduation she relocated to a new city with only her Love as support. Fortunately I knew her and him both...we were all in the same classes and although I was fond of her I thought her relationship with him was a mistake. He spoke to her like she was his child..."come here"..."meet me here now or I am leaving"...yada yada yada. But I didnt say anything...cause she was in love and never asked me my opinion of their relationship..so I kept it to myself. But unknownst to her, before they met he briefly dated another friend of mine who couldnt tolerate his "its my way or the highway" type ways....seeing that she is also a "my way or the highway"type person. lol...So I got an idea of who he was before even knowing him. But I hoped with her, my other friend, it would have been different.
Anyway they moved to Cali...it lasted a week...she was back in NY. Gist of it..he called her out her name one too many times and she decided it was the last straw..cause she, and I qoute "refused to be arrested in Cali for murder without my family near to post bail". Great call...in my opinion. But I felt her pain..here she was plans in hand , dreams bright and then smack! its all over...and although her family is there for her and friends support her she cant help feel embarrassed and like afool. She thought she could change him..."he's nice until he gets mad" she told me. The power and truth of what I then said to her didnt hit me until I said them...I told her "The same way you met him , you will bury him". You cant change a man...a person. You may influence their perspective and add color to another spectrum of their being but you havent "changed" the very essence of them.
So ask yourself can I live with who they are now, forever?
It was like that Sex in the City bathroom scene, where the lady tells Carrie that horror story....see the movie if you dont know what I am talking about.
Its scarey starting anew....and even though she is back in NY, the A-hole followed her back as well, and she is doing well and focusing on her...she misses him ...he was her first..she invested 3 yrs into him and she cared for him. I am glad she is moving on , one day at a time. Lets just hope she doesnt have to implement a restraining order to get her life back on track.
1 comment:
Congratulations; sounds like you have been very busy. She might feel like a fool, but she was smart getting out.. so really not that big of fool. lol NO MAN can be changed.. big mistake of a lot of women. lol Don't know the movie, and doubt if I will. lol Hmmm hope she sticks with the restraining order. It would be too hard for him to change, maybe but doubt it. lol My mom always said the way you get over a man is to find another one. lol Hope you have a great week. Janie
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