Okay two minutes ago my computer fell...and I saw red! Maybe in my mind it was bleeding but I wanted to cry. Lately everything I touch breaks..its like I have butter fingers. Yesterday it was my dresser draw, first piece of furniture I ever worked hard and bought myself. No help, no hand-me -downs. Mine. Bought and paid for. And yesterday while trying to open the bottom draw the darn front panel came out in my hands. I was so mad....no scratch that I am frustrated!
The exam, moving, breaking things, all that crap has frustrated me.
Soon as people call I say.."I dont want to talk about it"....it was terrible. I wanted to cry @ the end of the darn thing....6 hours...6 hours of torture....I just want to pass...I dont want to do this over again...I am tired. I keep praying for sanity....knowledge and a miracle.
I so need a miracle.
Yesterday I came home and just curled up in bed..ignoring my phone...and talking only when neccessary and it was usually to the TV. ANd this morning the plan was to work..go to work and try to move on. But I cant face the world..I think I am going to wallow in self pity a little longer...How can one exam make u feel so violated.
So today although I am wallowing I have to be productive, so I will continue packing.
I keep telling myself , He brought me this far and wont let me down...I have been in so many tight situations before...and He always brought me through. Worn, tattered but eternally grateful and with a more renewed faith than before. But that doesnt stop me from worrying.
I have faith...I will pass ...yesterday I passed (this is my mantra....please let me be)
Thank you Lord for bringing me through as you always have
1 comment:
Just a quick hello and let you know I will send up a prayer. We all do this to ourselves at one time or another. Have you had enough sleep. I get really overwhelmed when I am tired and over worked. Hope things look better soon. Prayers, Janie
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