The Men in my life and what they taught me

Like the women who surrounded and guided me throughout the years, the men in my life have also taught me life lessons. Maybe its because of the male figures that I have such a deep admiration for the male gender. The primary males in my life consist of my father, brother, hubby, male friends and uncles.

Just the thought of my father makes me smile. His very essence embodies the good nature humans thrive to possess. He is a pure humanitarian and often goes out of his way to help others...sometimes at his own expense. Maybe its because of his nature that he was attracted to my mother's persona. While he is the "Yes, Ma'am I'll help you type", my mother is the "No" that balances him out. Her "No" has saved our family from the poor house many a times. But my father's "Yes" have kept our home filled with much needed laughter, love and friends. My father's taught me to enjoy life..keep laughing...treat other's how you would love to be treated and never think twice of helping a fellow man. 

This brings me to my enforcer, protector brother. Like any other siblings we fought like cats and dogs. And with him being 5 yrs older and much bigger I was like a rag doll in his hands. But I used what God gave me...my brain and patience...and waited till he would get sick (however those were infrequent events, apparently it takes more than me coughing on him to give that boy the flu)   to kick him while he was down...call me an opportunist. We had all out brawls that started with devious tricks of hiding his teenage mutant ninga turtles weapons to him interchanging the body parts of my barbies...and with 6 barbies..this was alot of work for a kid. But the thing about my bro & I is that we are a team. From the days of duping the neighborhood kids out of their lunch money by conning them into thinking my little girl status left me ignorant of the ways of the nintendo...super mario bros was our game. To our own recent mini drag race on the streets of brooklyn...(p.s. dont try this). My brother and I may fight but his underlining philosophy is " noone else touches my sister".  From my brother..I learned how a woman is supposed to be treated...respected...and protected. But also with my brother I see a modern man's daily struggle to do right by his family, a man dealing with teenage daughters and pre-school girls all at the same time (he is still wondering what he did wrong in a past life to deserve 3 girls..lol). 

When I look at my hubby I see my rock...my confidante. I often wonder where he stores his discipline....cause I am plotting to steal it. When he puts his mind to something he goes after it with all his might , a one track mind, to get it done. Sometimes I wish I could immulate him and have the focus that he possesses to get things done. I may be a planner...but I am a multitasker and because of that my attention wont be on one thing....sometimes this is good and sometimes this is bad. He can turn off from the world and concentrate on the work at hand and not deviate until his time is up. I find this both unnerving and amazing. For several evenings I watched him work....until recently I have never seen him in his work environment ...working hard. I have to say it was an eye opening experience, all throughout he continued working..no breaks..no chit chat that was not work related or combined with him doing work while talking..none of that. As I said it was unnerving...maybe because I know if he was my boss I would have been fired a long time ago. I take breaks...lots of them...I relax..I talk...sure I get things done...before deadlines but thats cause I am a planner and I plan for every natural disaster under the sun....and make time for my "bull shit time". But not him. 

He taught me what it is to be steadfast....but most importantly he taught me to appreciate the simple things in life...things we often take for granted...those that make life worth living...family, friends and most importantly love...true love....long lasting love. Love that last throughout the time...never falters..never forgets its committment..love that grows with you. Love that is imperfect, unapolgetic, human ...but real.

  

From my male friends, or my boys as I call them....I get a peek into the psyche of men. Its strange that I have been surrounded by men that could be so different ..from the educated thug to the straight version of Farnsworth Bentley but yet they view women and dating in similiar ways. From my boys I learned to recognize "game"..I learned how not to compromise myself in order to gain the attention I wish to capture .

From my uncles...the womanizers...lol...I learned that men will lie by telling you the truth. I know sounds crazy but read it again...Men will lie by telling you the truth. I wont explain but some day you will see. I also learned that women will accept what we want to accept. So even though we, women, may know he is not ours for the taking (or playing) we still accept what we are given. For some this is enough.

I have been fortunate enough to have all these male influences in my life...for I know there are many people out there who have not had the honor. To them I say..they arent all dogs, and the good guys arent all taken...learn to trust and love but never compromise youself in the process

 Thats enough typing for one night